Jody Thiesfeld Tells about Her Family's Home Visit
I’ll tell you that we had a really fun time. Can’t wait to go back next Friday! We arrived about 3:15 and stayed for two hours. Unfortunately, it was time to get home to make supper for my parents and try to avoid rush hour.
Shee Kpaw answered the doorbell, came up to the door, took me by the hand and walked me down to her apt. (That was unexpected and seemed very tender to me—maybe her way of welcoming us since she couldn’t speak to us in English, maybe their custom? I don’t know) She was smiley and animated, so good to see after the exhaustion of the airport. Doo Loe was home…he went across the hall to get sweet little La Do (age 13, 7th grade, been here 9 mo., different refugee camp) to help tranlate. The first thing I remember him saying was that he was sorry they couldn’t speak to us in English. Doo Loe and Shee Kpaw were both wearing their skirts, and Shee Kpaw was wearing a stocking cap which she took off when we took pictures.
Our first impression was that the apartment was very clean. All the shoes and boots were neatly lined up on a shelf and on the floor. Everyone was barefoot…and the floors were very cold. Also, it was very dark in there. They never turned on a light the whole time we were there. I noticed the lamps were in the corner on the telephone stand. Chuck noticed someone turned on the kitchen light but then it was turned off. Maybe to conserve electricity? I had brought two pair of slip-on fleecy slippers, explaining that people here use them in their houses. They didn’t try them on, although Shee Kpaw started to try but either thought her foot wouldn’t go in or was distracted. By the time we left, I had outlined both Doo Loe’s and Shee Kpaw’s feet. They are very wide…I’ll try to figure out the size and width. Doo Loe said he needed shoes and neither have boots. His tennis shoes just aren’t warm enough for winter.
I gave Shee Kpaw a plate of chocolate chip cookies and put them on the counter. An interesting observation: she didn’t know what to do with them—thought she should put them in the fridge, but I explained they are OK on the counter or in the freezer. (These are the kinds of things that remind us how new things are to people!) The teapot was whistling on the stove—flat top stove!!
We gave them a framed 8x10 of the group arrival picture at the airport. They enjoyed looking at that…then the photo album of 4x5’s we took when they arrived. In that album I also included two pictures of Valley Christian Church, and two photos I took with me, Liana, you and Dave, and Tasha and JJ. I put comments by all the pictures which La Do translated for them. Doo Loe brought out your Christmas photo, Julie, and then I asked Shee Kpaw if they had any photos from the last month. She must have gotten the idea we were asking about their photos so she went into the bedroom (where we observed they must keep things—because that’s where the bottled water they offered us came from too) and brought out a stack of pictures from the refugee camp and home. It was hard to see the pictures in such dim light…they tried to turn towards the window light, but the windows are covered by vertical blinds that didn’t seem to move. I think over half of the window space was covered so not much light was coming through.
We found out that Shee Kpaw’s brother died in the camp; she said she had 8 brothers and sisters. (WOW) She also had a niece that died at age 20…although the picture showed her as a young girl. Most of the photos were laminated for protection, which was practical and interesting to us—some showed some damage. The 2 year old Lah Poe Htat was also having fun with the photos, and no one had to worry about damaging them. He is so small for 2…but he is a sharp little cookie! Soon we had more new friends arriving from across the hall…La Do’s mom, and a friend. They were smiling and animated, standing against the wall, laughing and talking and looking at the pictures. Wondered if they were curious or if there is an open door policy for friends. Anyway, they all were enjoying the photos together.
It wasn’t long before the kids got home from school. Doo Loe apologized that he had take the oldest daughter, Pop T Paw, to a meeting. He asked if we could stay so we could see his sister (who we had met at the airport) when she arrived. I asked if she was driving him to the meeting and he said they were taking a taxi. The two of them hadn’t come back yet when we left at 5:15. His sister, Say Htoo, arrived shortly thereafter. She is 22 and married…lives at 1337 Arkwright Street. She came with her “sister-in-law”—her husband’s sister, who is in 3rd grade, and a kindergartner…who may also have been a sister-in-law (which is hard for me to think about in terms of age span, but with large families, probably quite common) or a relative. After Doo Loe’s sister Say Htoo’s arrival, we noticed that our sweet little translator--the neighbor La Do, and her mom and friend, had slipped out quietly.
We asked them all if they had ever had hot chocolate. No one had ever tasted it. We brought a box of Swiss Miss so they had the info, but also a bag of extra packets for them. They wanted to try it, so out came the cups. Thanks to whoever donated that cute set of black and white dishes!!! It was so cheery to pull them out of the cupboard! I brought Shee Kpaw a set of my duplicate Tupperware measuring cups, and explained how much water to use from her whistling tea pot. Everybody seemed to like it. They also seemed to enjoy tasting the cookies. I gave Shee Kpaw a tin of Tazo Earl Grey tea—they drink both black and green tea, I found out. My sister sent a dish towel that she had embroidered with snowflakes on her sewing machine. It caused some discussion there in the kitchen because Shee Kpaw didn’t know what to do with it. I noticed she was using a hand towel by the sink, and didn’t see a dishcloth. We told her to hang it on her oven handle and use it for hands or dishes. I will try to round up some dishcloths and dishtowels by next week.
We got the kids playing Chutes and Ladders (Dora the Explorer version which they recognized) on the coffee table. Liana joined them. They were having so much fun together. We observed the kids patience and care for little Lah Poe Htat who wanted to move the figures on the board too and be a part of the action, touching the pieces and wanting to spin the wheel! It was amazing to see how tolerant and helpful they were, trying to get him interested in some stuffed toys we brought, including a little yellow duck. One of the girls didn’t let go of a little doll from Aladdin the whole time, and they also enjoyed Minnie Mouse in her winter sweater.
We brought the kids a teddy bear that sings the whole “Jesus Loves Me” when his paws are brought together (battery connection) or if people are each holding one of his paws and joined in a circle. Doo Loe’s sister told us they sing “Jesus Loves Me” in Karen. She said they love going to the Baptist Church. So there we were in the kitchen, listening to “Jesus Loves Me” in Karen, and them looking at the words to “Jesus Loves Me” on the tag in English.
We recognized the difficulty of sliding the verticals when Chuck helped the kids put some snowmen window clings on the window. Seemed to me like trying to move an iron armor. We brought them four different throws/afghans and showed them how to curl up in them on the sofa or throw them over the back of the couches. Shee Kpaw tried it out and said it felt warm.
We gave them the kids’ story and the materials Kristin left at the meeting. Turns out that Shee Kpaw doesn’t know how to read. (That was a question I had beforehand.) So we understood Doo Loe can read, so guess he’ll help with that.) This is such a reminder of how difficult it must be to be excluded from information around you…in any language. Doo Loe’s sister told us that they worry when the mail comes because they can’t differentiate the important from the junk.
I asked them if they had tried anything “American” during their first month here. Say Htoo, Doo Loe’s sister, said they had tried pizza. The kids liked it, but I guess mom and dad didn’t! I would have like to take a peek inside the refrigerator to see what they were eating. I gave her a set of food storage containers… Shee Kpaw thought they were for the kids’ lunches. That led me to believe they might need lunchbags/boxes but I didn’t explore that any further. Say Htoo brought a bag from probably an Asian grocery store that was on the counter. Inside were several trays of Asian eggplant, which look a little larger than a golf ball with the green color of watermelon. I sure would have loved to see what they did with those.
Doo Loe’s sister takes them grocery shopping on the weekend—she has a car. I asked her if there was anything she saw they needed or if they were having any difficulties in the apartment. She said they wanted to move to be closer to her but that they couldn’t do that (yet?).
I tried to talk a little with Yar Shay, the 9 year old son. I tell you, those names are killers. I was able to write down all the names and birthdays of the family members—also wrote down the phonetic spelling so we could try to learn and say the names properly…but that sure is a challenge. This kid’s name I could remember easily because it’s pronounced just like the equivalent of “I already know” = Ya se…in Spanish! His name was easy to remember! (But my favorite is “Pop T Paw”—it just has such a fun ring!) I gave Yar Shay the Karen story book first. I asked about school and he couldn’t remember the name of the school, but he indicated he liked it and his teacher(s). He was putting on some gloves—the kind that are from the dollar stores and are quite thin—because his hands were cold. He said they were the only ones he had and that it was cold going to school. So will try to find him some warmer mittens.
The two girls have boots, they were by the door when I checked with Doo Loe’s sister. Since Yar Shay was home, I’m wondering if he has any. She pointed out the shoes that Dave bought them. I was wondering if they meant Christian, because he was the one that wrote about his visit and taking them to Wal Mart to find shoes, guessing at the sizes.
We brought some coloring books and 2 boxes of crayons. Everyone was busy coloring and playing Chutes and Ladders when we had to leave. The 2 year old, La Poe Htat, was intent on holding two crayons and coloring too--so helped him by holding his hand—maybe he is a budding artist. He really was so observant and wanted to participate. He was waving to Chuck, high-fiving, saying “hello”, and blowing us kisses when we left. He seemed unusually “focused” for a 2 year old! At one point on his mom’s lap he got a little fussy. Doo Loe’s sister told us he was getting hungry. I told her to go ahead and feed him. She answered that he wanted to breastfeed. I asked her if Shee Kpaw was embarrassed to do that in front of us. At that point Shee Kpaw got up and went into the kitchen but then came back, so I never got any resolution on whether she still did, or if he was being weaned off…I don’t know.
When we left, we noticed the kids went right to the window where we said goodbye waving from outside. They were moving the window gel-clings around and enjoying themselves. When we first arrived we headed for the door that must have been a rental office door because that’s where we saw the address, but did find the front door facing the garages (now we know what you were talking about Julie! Some doors looked as though they might not even survive opening the garage door! Did you notice the roof of the end unit had plastic over it???)
When I left, I reminded myself what Kristin told us about not getting “attached” as you get to know the family. Hmmm…that’s hard….
So this is the information I gathered about their names and pronunciation and birthdays. Doo Loe’s birthday was only two days after they arrived. Note that the 2 year old will be two on February 11. All but his name’s spelling and birthdays came from some cards Doo Loe carried in his pocket. His sister spelled the little guy’s name.
Dad: Doo Loe 12/10/78 (age 33)
Mom: She Kpaw 1/12/78 (age 32) Pronounced: “She k’paw”
Son: Yar Shay 11/06/00 (age 10) Pronounced: “Yah say” Shoe size 3
Daughter: Pop T Paw 11/16/02 (age 9) Pronounced: “Lah t’paw” Shoe size 2 (don’t know where the “pop” went in that one!)
Daughter: La Sell 11/3/05 (age 6) Pronounced “Lah poe say”(don’t know where the “poe” came from!) Shoe size was 1
Son: Lah Poe Htat 2/11/2010 (age 2) Pronounced “Lah poe tah” Sz 5 (infant?)
Translator/helper across the hall, age 13: La Do
Doo Loe’s sister: Say Htoo 1/15/90 (age 22, married) Pronounced “Say Too”
So that’s what we experienced yesterday. All of us enjoyed it and we look forward to going back on Friday.
In spite of language barriers, people need each other for encouragement and connections…think how we would feel getting accustomed to such a foreign culture-- experiencing other’s care and love would mean a lot, even without language. I think the key is to keep everyone busy doing something or looking at something, or experiencing something—sharing together—so no one ends up sitting and just looking at each other!!! By being together, we learn that they in all their "differentness" are much like us, and they learn the same about us...and that helps everyone realize that it's not a scary as it might appear. They are receptive and friendly and it really was fun to be with them.
Thank you Julie (Ginader) for being the point person who has made all this possible at VCC. You have made a life-changing investment in this family and also make it possible for the rest of us to experience something so beautiful with them. God bless you for that.
Look forward to going back with you next Friday Cheri (Burkum)!
Look forward to seeing you both soon. Have a great weekend! God bless you!
JODY, CHUCK and LIANA THIESFELD
Shee Kpaw answered the doorbell, came up to the door, took me by the hand and walked me down to her apt. (That was unexpected and seemed very tender to me—maybe her way of welcoming us since she couldn’t speak to us in English, maybe their custom? I don’t know) She was smiley and animated, so good to see after the exhaustion of the airport. Doo Loe was home…he went across the hall to get sweet little La Do (age 13, 7th grade, been here 9 mo., different refugee camp) to help tranlate. The first thing I remember him saying was that he was sorry they couldn’t speak to us in English. Doo Loe and Shee Kpaw were both wearing their skirts, and Shee Kpaw was wearing a stocking cap which she took off when we took pictures.
Our first impression was that the apartment was very clean. All the shoes and boots were neatly lined up on a shelf and on the floor. Everyone was barefoot…and the floors were very cold. Also, it was very dark in there. They never turned on a light the whole time we were there. I noticed the lamps were in the corner on the telephone stand. Chuck noticed someone turned on the kitchen light but then it was turned off. Maybe to conserve electricity? I had brought two pair of slip-on fleecy slippers, explaining that people here use them in their houses. They didn’t try them on, although Shee Kpaw started to try but either thought her foot wouldn’t go in or was distracted. By the time we left, I had outlined both Doo Loe’s and Shee Kpaw’s feet. They are very wide…I’ll try to figure out the size and width. Doo Loe said he needed shoes and neither have boots. His tennis shoes just aren’t warm enough for winter.
I gave Shee Kpaw a plate of chocolate chip cookies and put them on the counter. An interesting observation: she didn’t know what to do with them—thought she should put them in the fridge, but I explained they are OK on the counter or in the freezer. (These are the kinds of things that remind us how new things are to people!) The teapot was whistling on the stove—flat top stove!!
We gave them a framed 8x10 of the group arrival picture at the airport. They enjoyed looking at that…then the photo album of 4x5’s we took when they arrived. In that album I also included two pictures of Valley Christian Church, and two photos I took with me, Liana, you and Dave, and Tasha and JJ. I put comments by all the pictures which La Do translated for them. Doo Loe brought out your Christmas photo, Julie, and then I asked Shee Kpaw if they had any photos from the last month. She must have gotten the idea we were asking about their photos so she went into the bedroom (where we observed they must keep things—because that’s where the bottled water they offered us came from too) and brought out a stack of pictures from the refugee camp and home. It was hard to see the pictures in such dim light…they tried to turn towards the window light, but the windows are covered by vertical blinds that didn’t seem to move. I think over half of the window space was covered so not much light was coming through.
We found out that Shee Kpaw’s brother died in the camp; she said she had 8 brothers and sisters. (WOW) She also had a niece that died at age 20…although the picture showed her as a young girl. Most of the photos were laminated for protection, which was practical and interesting to us—some showed some damage. The 2 year old Lah Poe Htat was also having fun with the photos, and no one had to worry about damaging them. He is so small for 2…but he is a sharp little cookie! Soon we had more new friends arriving from across the hall…La Do’s mom, and a friend. They were smiling and animated, standing against the wall, laughing and talking and looking at the pictures. Wondered if they were curious or if there is an open door policy for friends. Anyway, they all were enjoying the photos together.
It wasn’t long before the kids got home from school. Doo Loe apologized that he had take the oldest daughter, Pop T Paw, to a meeting. He asked if we could stay so we could see his sister (who we had met at the airport) when she arrived. I asked if she was driving him to the meeting and he said they were taking a taxi. The two of them hadn’t come back yet when we left at 5:15. His sister, Say Htoo, arrived shortly thereafter. She is 22 and married…lives at 1337 Arkwright Street. She came with her “sister-in-law”—her husband’s sister, who is in 3rd grade, and a kindergartner…who may also have been a sister-in-law (which is hard for me to think about in terms of age span, but with large families, probably quite common) or a relative. After Doo Loe’s sister Say Htoo’s arrival, we noticed that our sweet little translator--the neighbor La Do, and her mom and friend, had slipped out quietly.
We asked them all if they had ever had hot chocolate. No one had ever tasted it. We brought a box of Swiss Miss so they had the info, but also a bag of extra packets for them. They wanted to try it, so out came the cups. Thanks to whoever donated that cute set of black and white dishes!!! It was so cheery to pull them out of the cupboard! I brought Shee Kpaw a set of my duplicate Tupperware measuring cups, and explained how much water to use from her whistling tea pot. Everybody seemed to like it. They also seemed to enjoy tasting the cookies. I gave Shee Kpaw a tin of Tazo Earl Grey tea—they drink both black and green tea, I found out. My sister sent a dish towel that she had embroidered with snowflakes on her sewing machine. It caused some discussion there in the kitchen because Shee Kpaw didn’t know what to do with it. I noticed she was using a hand towel by the sink, and didn’t see a dishcloth. We told her to hang it on her oven handle and use it for hands or dishes. I will try to round up some dishcloths and dishtowels by next week.
We got the kids playing Chutes and Ladders (Dora the Explorer version which they recognized) on the coffee table. Liana joined them. They were having so much fun together. We observed the kids patience and care for little Lah Poe Htat who wanted to move the figures on the board too and be a part of the action, touching the pieces and wanting to spin the wheel! It was amazing to see how tolerant and helpful they were, trying to get him interested in some stuffed toys we brought, including a little yellow duck. One of the girls didn’t let go of a little doll from Aladdin the whole time, and they also enjoyed Minnie Mouse in her winter sweater.
We brought the kids a teddy bear that sings the whole “Jesus Loves Me” when his paws are brought together (battery connection) or if people are each holding one of his paws and joined in a circle. Doo Loe’s sister told us they sing “Jesus Loves Me” in Karen. She said they love going to the Baptist Church. So there we were in the kitchen, listening to “Jesus Loves Me” in Karen, and them looking at the words to “Jesus Loves Me” on the tag in English.
We recognized the difficulty of sliding the verticals when Chuck helped the kids put some snowmen window clings on the window. Seemed to me like trying to move an iron armor. We brought them four different throws/afghans and showed them how to curl up in them on the sofa or throw them over the back of the couches. Shee Kpaw tried it out and said it felt warm.
We gave them the kids’ story and the materials Kristin left at the meeting. Turns out that Shee Kpaw doesn’t know how to read. (That was a question I had beforehand.) So we understood Doo Loe can read, so guess he’ll help with that.) This is such a reminder of how difficult it must be to be excluded from information around you…in any language. Doo Loe’s sister told us that they worry when the mail comes because they can’t differentiate the important from the junk.
I asked them if they had tried anything “American” during their first month here. Say Htoo, Doo Loe’s sister, said they had tried pizza. The kids liked it, but I guess mom and dad didn’t! I would have like to take a peek inside the refrigerator to see what they were eating. I gave her a set of food storage containers… Shee Kpaw thought they were for the kids’ lunches. That led me to believe they might need lunchbags/boxes but I didn’t explore that any further. Say Htoo brought a bag from probably an Asian grocery store that was on the counter. Inside were several trays of Asian eggplant, which look a little larger than a golf ball with the green color of watermelon. I sure would have loved to see what they did with those.
Doo Loe’s sister takes them grocery shopping on the weekend—she has a car. I asked her if there was anything she saw they needed or if they were having any difficulties in the apartment. She said they wanted to move to be closer to her but that they couldn’t do that (yet?).
I tried to talk a little with Yar Shay, the 9 year old son. I tell you, those names are killers. I was able to write down all the names and birthdays of the family members—also wrote down the phonetic spelling so we could try to learn and say the names properly…but that sure is a challenge. This kid’s name I could remember easily because it’s pronounced just like the equivalent of “I already know” = Ya se…in Spanish! His name was easy to remember! (But my favorite is “Pop T Paw”—it just has such a fun ring!) I gave Yar Shay the Karen story book first. I asked about school and he couldn’t remember the name of the school, but he indicated he liked it and his teacher(s). He was putting on some gloves—the kind that are from the dollar stores and are quite thin—because his hands were cold. He said they were the only ones he had and that it was cold going to school. So will try to find him some warmer mittens.
The two girls have boots, they were by the door when I checked with Doo Loe’s sister. Since Yar Shay was home, I’m wondering if he has any. She pointed out the shoes that Dave bought them. I was wondering if they meant Christian, because he was the one that wrote about his visit and taking them to Wal Mart to find shoes, guessing at the sizes.
We brought some coloring books and 2 boxes of crayons. Everyone was busy coloring and playing Chutes and Ladders when we had to leave. The 2 year old, La Poe Htat, was intent on holding two crayons and coloring too--so helped him by holding his hand—maybe he is a budding artist. He really was so observant and wanted to participate. He was waving to Chuck, high-fiving, saying “hello”, and blowing us kisses when we left. He seemed unusually “focused” for a 2 year old! At one point on his mom’s lap he got a little fussy. Doo Loe’s sister told us he was getting hungry. I told her to go ahead and feed him. She answered that he wanted to breastfeed. I asked her if Shee Kpaw was embarrassed to do that in front of us. At that point Shee Kpaw got up and went into the kitchen but then came back, so I never got any resolution on whether she still did, or if he was being weaned off…I don’t know.
When we left, we noticed the kids went right to the window where we said goodbye waving from outside. They were moving the window gel-clings around and enjoying themselves. When we first arrived we headed for the door that must have been a rental office door because that’s where we saw the address, but did find the front door facing the garages (now we know what you were talking about Julie! Some doors looked as though they might not even survive opening the garage door! Did you notice the roof of the end unit had plastic over it???)
When I left, I reminded myself what Kristin told us about not getting “attached” as you get to know the family. Hmmm…that’s hard….
So this is the information I gathered about their names and pronunciation and birthdays. Doo Loe’s birthday was only two days after they arrived. Note that the 2 year old will be two on February 11. All but his name’s spelling and birthdays came from some cards Doo Loe carried in his pocket. His sister spelled the little guy’s name.
Dad: Doo Loe 12/10/78 (age 33)
Mom: She Kpaw 1/12/78 (age 32) Pronounced: “She k’paw”
Son: Yar Shay 11/06/00 (age 10) Pronounced: “Yah say” Shoe size 3
Daughter: Pop T Paw 11/16/02 (age 9) Pronounced: “Lah t’paw” Shoe size 2 (don’t know where the “pop” went in that one!)
Daughter: La Sell 11/3/05 (age 6) Pronounced “Lah poe say”(don’t know where the “poe” came from!) Shoe size was 1
Son: Lah Poe Htat 2/11/2010 (age 2) Pronounced “Lah poe tah” Sz 5 (infant?)
Translator/helper across the hall, age 13: La Do
Doo Loe’s sister: Say Htoo 1/15/90 (age 22, married) Pronounced “Say Too”
So that’s what we experienced yesterday. All of us enjoyed it and we look forward to going back on Friday.
In spite of language barriers, people need each other for encouragement and connections…think how we would feel getting accustomed to such a foreign culture-- experiencing other’s care and love would mean a lot, even without language. I think the key is to keep everyone busy doing something or looking at something, or experiencing something—sharing together—so no one ends up sitting and just looking at each other!!! By being together, we learn that they in all their "differentness" are much like us, and they learn the same about us...and that helps everyone realize that it's not a scary as it might appear. They are receptive and friendly and it really was fun to be with them.
Thank you Julie (Ginader) for being the point person who has made all this possible at VCC. You have made a life-changing investment in this family and also make it possible for the rest of us to experience something so beautiful with them. God bless you for that.
Look forward to going back with you next Friday Cheri (Burkum)!
Look forward to seeing you both soon. Have a great weekend! God bless you!
JODY, CHUCK and LIANA THIESFELD
